The week of the Boston bombings, I was riveted to the television (along with the rest of our nation.) My son is too young (or just self-absorbed) to question why the TV was on so much more than usual and to try to interpret the images flashing by. I didn't try to explain to him what was going on from our living room in New York. Unfortunately, in Boston- where families were under lock down- and others who were directly affected by these tragic events, an explanation to the kids was necessary.
After Newtown, I saw a great article by Seedlings Group about how to deal with kids and tragedy. Although I can't find the link to the article, I do still have the list of books they recommended. I find it comforting to have some ammunition of my own on how to talk about the increasing violence in this world and other tragedies without causing lasting amounts of anxiety in my child.
Here's the list in its entirety:
Helping Children Cope with Trauma … with a little laughter mixed in
Pre-K through 2nd Grade
(These books may certainly be used with older children as appropriate)
(These books may certainly be used with older children as appropriate)
Understanding Death
After the Funeral. Winsch, Jane Loretta. Discusses the various feelings accompanying the death of a loved one, including sadness, grief and the fear of death itself.
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf by Leo Buscaglia. Explains death in natural terms of the life cycle of a leaf
Lifetimes: A Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children. Mellonie, Bryan and Robert Ingpen. This books explains that there is a beginning and ending for everything, and is true for plants, animals and people.
What’s Heaven? by Maria Shriver – A girl asks her mother questions about heaven
Grief and Loss – Death of Child
If Nathan Were Here. Bahr, Mary. A young boy grieves the loss of his best friend and thinks about how things would be if he were still alive.
Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories) Penn, Audrey - Loss of a classmate
Help Me Say Goodbye: Activities for Helping Kids Cope When a Special Person Dies by Janis Silverman
Rudi’s Pond. Bunting. Death of classmate and celebrating their memory
Grief and Loss – Animals
Badger’s Parting Gifts. Varley, Susan. Badger's friends are sad when he dies, but they treasure the legacies he left them.
Harry and Hopper by Margaret Wild – Loss of a pet and coping with grief
When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death. Brown, Laurie K. and Marc Brown. Explains in simple language the feelings people may have regarding the
death of a loved one and the ways to honor the memory of someone who has died.
Tenth Good Thing About Barney, The. Voirst, Judith. Atheneum, 1971. A boy tried to think of 10 good memories about his cat, who is gone.
When I Die, Will I Get Better? Peter Bedrick. This book was created by a five year old boy to come to terms with the death of his younger brother. The story features rabbit brothers, one who dies and the other who mourns.
Anxiety and Worry
Absolutely Not by Matthew McElligott – Gloria, an ant, tries to convince her friend that the world is not always a frightening place
Angry Octopus: A Relaxation Story (Also, Bubble Riding) by Lori Lite Story uses muscular relaxation exercises to focus awareness on body parts and relieve stress.
Countdown to Kindergarten by Alison McGhee – A little girl fears Kindergarten because she can’t tie her shoes.
David and the Worry Beast: Helping Children Cope with Anxiety by Anne Marie Guanci
Don’t Go by Jane Zalben – Daniel overcomes his nervousness on the first day of preschool (no tragedy involved)
Feelings. Aliki.
I Feel Scared by Kelly Doudna
The I’m Not Scared Book by Todd Parr
Kissing Hand, The. (Also, Chester Raccoon and the Acorn Full of Memories) Penn, Audrey. 1993. Child Welfare League, 1993. – Making memories and, loss of a classmate
Michael Rosen’s Sad Book
Ready for Anything by Keiko Kasza – Raccoon realizes that he can’t prepare for every bad thing that might happen while on a picnic.
Scaredy Squirrel series by Melanie Watt(funny look at anxiety)
Sometimes Bad Things Happen by Ellen Jackson
A Terrible Thing Happened: A Story for Children Who Have Witnessed Violence or Trauma by Margaret Holmes
Wemberly Worried by Kevin Henkes – story of a mouse who worries about everything
Comic Relief – Books for Laughter and Silliness
Bark, George by Jules Feiffer
A Birthday for Cow (and others) by Jan Thomas
Click, Clack, Moo. Cows That Type or Bounce! by Doreen Cronin
Click, Clack, Moo. Cows That Type or Bounce! by Doreen Cronin
Duck on a Bike by David Shannon
Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss. Fun to read. More fun if a grown up tries to read it.
If You’re Happy and You Know It (Jungle Edition) by James Warhola
Fox in Socks by Dr. Seuss. Fun to read. More fun if a grown up tries to read it.
If You’re Happy and You Know It (Jungle Edition) by James Warhola
No Laughing, No Smiling, No Giggling by James Stevenson
There is a Bird On Your Head or Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems
There is a Bird On Your Head or Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus by Mo Willems
A Visitor for Bear by Bonnie Becker
Grades 3-5
Grief and Loss – Understanding and Dealing with Death
Kids' book about death and dying, The; by and for kids. Fayerweather Street School. The Unit. Fourteen children offer facts and advice to give young readers a better understanding of death.
Lost and Found: A Kid’s Book for Living through Loss. Gellman, Marc and Hartman, Thomas. Morrow Junior, 1999.
When People Die by Joanne Bernstein
Grief and Loss - Death of Adults
I Remember Miss Perry by Pat Brisson - loss of a teacher
Missing May by Cynthia Rylant – death of her aunt
Love, Ruby Lavender (also, Each Little Bird That Sings) by Deborah Wiles. 9 year old Ruby copes with loss of her grandmother on a farm in Mississippi. Good for concept of loss and coping and celebrating life.
Memory String, The. Bunting, Eve. While still grieving for her mother and unable to accept her stepmother, a girl clings to the memories represented by the forty-three buttons on a sting.
Grief and Loss - Death of a Child
Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson – This classic story tells of a special friendship between two children and the heartbreak when one dies in an accident. Beloved by all who read it.
Everything for a Dog by Ann M. Martin – Animals help human child deal with loss of brother
A Gathering of Days by Joan Blos 14-year-old girl deals with death of her best friend on a farm in New Hampshire
Julia’s Kitchen by Brenda Ferber – coping with loss of mother and sister
Love, Aubrey (Also, Eight Keys) by Suzanne LaFleur – coping with loss of father and sister
What is Goodbye? by Nikki Grimes A brother and a sister write poems to deal with the loss of a sibling
Umbrella Summer by Lisa Graff – death of a brother
Anxiety and Worry and Feelings
Justin Case: School, Drool, and Other Daily Disasters by Rachel Vail – A third grade worrywart worries about every aspect of school, including his desire for his stuffed animal.
Sad Isn’t Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss. Mundy, Michaelene. 1998.
Saddest Time, The. Simon, Norma. Sensitively discusses the different circumstances that sometimes surround a person’s death in three short stories.
Stress Can Really Get on Your Nerves by Trevor Romain
Stuart Goes to School by Sara Pennypacker – Stuart hopes his cape will help soothe school anxieties
What to Do When You Worry Too Much: A Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety by Dawn Huebner
What To Do When You’re Scared and Worried by James J. Crist
Terrible Thing Happened, A. Holmes, Margaret M. For children who have experienced a traumatic event.
Comic Relief – Books for Laughter and Silliness
Arnie the Doughnut by Laurie Keller – No one told Arnie that doughnuts are for eating.
Bad Kitty stories by Nick Bruel
Bad Kitty stories by Nick Bruel
Clementine by Sara Pennypacker
Double Fudge by Judy Blume
The Dunderheads by Paul Fleischman
Lawn Boy by Gary Paulsen
Lives of the Presidents by Kathleen Krull
Melonhead by Katy Kelly – Adam has a series of wacky ideas, including an escaped snake in his house
Moxy Maxwell Does Not Love Stuart Little by Peggy Gifford
Nanny Piggins by R.A. Spratt – A *very* silly pig signs up to be a babysitter
Stink books by Megan McDonald
Books for Parents/Educators/Caregivers
Art of Condolence, The: What to Write, What to Say, What to Do at a Time of Loss. Zunin, Leonard M. HarperPerennial, 1992.
Bereaved Children and Teens: A Support Guide for Parents and Professionals. Grollman, Earl A. (Editor).
Boy Who Sat by the Window, The: Helping Children Cope with Violence. Loftis, Chris. Small Horizons Press, 1997.
The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook: What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing by Bruce Perry
Children Grieve Too: Helping Children Cope with Grief. Johnson, Joy and Dr. Marvin. A 15-page booklet to read immediately after the death and before the funeral.
Freeing Your Child from Anxiety: Powerful, Practical Solutions To Overcome Your Child’s Fears, Worries, and Phobias by Tamar Ellsas Chansky. 2004.
Guiding Your Child through Grief. Emswiler, M.A. & Emswiler J.P. Bantam, 2000.
Grieving child, The: a parent's guide. Fitzgerald, Helen.
The Grieving Student: A Teacher’s Guide by David J. Schonfeld
Helping children cope with the loss of a loved one: a guide for grownups. Kroen, William C.
Helping children cope with separation and loss. Jewett, Claudia. Harvard Common Press, 1982.
Helping children grieve: when someone they love dies. Huntley, Theresa.
Helping the Grieving Student: A Guide for Teachers. (Dougy Center, see above.)
Helping Your Anxious Child by Ronald Rapee. 2008.
Parenting through Crisis: Helping Kids in Times of Loss, Grief, and Change. Coloroso, Barbara. Harpercollins.
Scared Child, The: Helping Kids Overcome Traumatic Events. Brooks, Barbara. The second section of this book consists of a four step debriefing process parents can use to help children cope with traumatic events.
Talking About Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child. Grollman, Earl A. Avishai, Susan (Illustrator).
Talking with Children about Loss. Brazelton, T. Berry. Berkely, 1999.
When Death Impacts Your School: A Guide for School Administrators. 2003.
Your anxious child : how parents and teachers can relieve anxiety in children. John S.
Dacey, Lisa B. Fiore; with contributions by G.T. Ladd.
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